Lockdown reflections
As I am writing this post, New Zealand is in day 4 of a lockdown after a year of leading a fairly normal existence.
The country has so far managed to avoid any major outbreaks, famously through a rigorous and strict border quarantine policy and going into a total lockdown very early on during the pandemic.
Today, as the officials are dealing with new clusters of Delta variant cases, the partially vaccinated population is once again obediently staying at home, isolating from one another in the hope that this won’t be for too long.
I spent the first 11 months of the COVID pandemic in Europe. I was helping someone who had been going through cancer treatment which meant that it was even more imperative I didn’t get ill. We travelled to and from the hospital for treatment sometimes daily. We travelled between cities and countries as this was required to complete the treatment. I had to shop and interact with others when we were most vulnerable. We were lucky to avoid the infection.
Then last February I was able to return to New Zealand and was suddenly back into normality - no mask wearing, no distancing, ordinary human interactions filled with hugs and hand shakes.
Given my experiences, one would think that today’s lockdown, during which I get to spend time with my husband and my dog, in my own home with a garden, will be easier to deal with. And in a lot of ways it obviously is. But I also feel the impact of last year and how deeply it affected me. Feeling of anxiety overwhelms me sometimes without any warning or apparent reason. I hold tension in my body without realising it. I sleep lightly and with interruptions. When will that pass? When will I feel normal again? When will I not have to be “on alert” any longer?
When I come to the mat to practice yoga, I don’t find answers to those questions. I don’t always experience an instant boost in energy and mood level. Yoga is not a magic pill which changes reality. Do not think of yoga as an image of a care-free, smiling, tight clothes wearing, avocado nibbling, always happy person who you will either become if you practice or you must be to begin with. Yoga makes you face reality, there is no escape from it on the mat. But it offers you space to examine it in a different way - calm, steady breath will not take away the source of your anxiety, stress, disappointment or pain but it will allow you to change the way you view it. Most importantly, the practice of yoga does not depend on what you look like, your age, your abilities or skills, your wealth or status. It is there for all of us, should we choose it.
I wish everyone at least one daily moment of calmness.
Take real care, Sabina
